Chore List Bingo

Those of you who know me know that I am a HORRIBLE WRETCH of a homemaker.  Not surprising, I've passed a number of good, even great traits to my children but sadly, the state of our home is our family's major dysfunction.  Every family has some dysfunction, so if that has to be ours... well... I don't have to surrender completely.

A couple of months ago, after a lot of prayer, I remembered my "Side-tracked Home Executives" and wondered if that could help my children.
  

The result?  Chore List Bingo!!!

Well, it still isn't perfect, and we still have a LONG way to go, but my new chore list is a BIG improvement.  Enacted about two months ago, the boys seem to really get it and I'm happy that my kitchen floor is swept everyday.

Here's what I did...

1)  I wrote out all -- and I mean ALL -- of the chores that need to be done each week.  I can't stress enough here to include each and every task.  If someone needs to fill the sippy cup in the morning, write it down.  If someone needs to find the tv remote, write it down.  For us, taking the dogs out got three entries, "Taking the dogs out Morning", "Taking the dogs out Afternoon" and "Taking the dogs out Evening."  We have a small leak in our left kitchen sink and a faithful bucket sits beneath it until we can get it fixed, so our list has "Empty the bucket under the sink."

In our house, there are three types of chores:  Chores associated with cleaning your own room; Chores you're responsible for each day as part of the household; and Chores that are "above and beyond" -- these are chores that they can take on for extra pay or rewards (or voluntary penance).  The chore list just included the ones that are not paid, but are done as being part of the household.

2)  I formed a table in Microsoft Word that had the chore list down the first column, and then columns for each day of the week.  I grayed out boxes that were chores that weren't done on that day.  For example, we're out all day on Sundays, so the only chores that get done are for the pets.  All the other boxes got grayed out.  The trash only gets taken to the curb on Wednesday night, so all the other days for "Take the trash to the curb" are grayed out.

3)  I added their name to the household chores (their laundry) that they are responsible for by default.  Here's what it looked like at this point:
 
4)  Then I brought the boys in, Timmy, age 15, and Max, age 12.  Though they already knew of our home's three groups of chores, I explained it again.  We had corrupted into paying for a lot of chores without a lot of quality.  I believe that while "real" life involves doing a job and getting paid for it, I also believe that A) you still must do a good job with it and B) you still have responsibilities at home.  If daily chores do nothing else, it is to teach these concepts.

Because they had devolved into such sloppy work and just focused on getting paid, they are on probation.  During this probation, there are VERY few paid jobs.  We felt the boys needed to remember that everyone in the home contributes.  When we finalize our "menu" of paid jobs, I'll post that as well.  That will be a list of jobs that -- AFTER SCHOOLWORK, CHORES AND ROOM -- they can do to earn extra money.

5)  Then we began.  The oldest got to go first and picked a chore to put his name in.  I am pretty sure he chose "Get the mail."  The younger didn't realize at first that he should pick easy jobs as much as he was simply staying away from jobs he hated to do.  It didn't take long for them to figure these things out.

It did get kind of funny, like a board game.  They realized that some jobs almost do themselves.  When we get home on Sunday night or Wednesday night from church, the dogs come outside with us as we take things in.  Job done.  I was proud of how strategic they were thinking.

6)  Finally, the entire list was filled in.  There were some groans as we got to those last few items that are truly the most horrible, like "scoop the cat litter."  But, they each saw the other take jobs that they didn't want, so, for them, there was no question that this was fair.


Like I said, so far, it is going well.  I was just so super-impressed with my boys when my father had a heart attack on January 18th.  Barely into our new system, the boys kept their chores each day with very little from me as I was at the hospital each day.

I'm also impressed with what they've learned about working as a team.  Like everyone, we have days where we're out for the day and very few chores get done.  They know that the pets must always be provided for, and thus those chores are never overlooked.  But, they have also seen very clearly that if the kitchen doesn't get swept each day, the next day it's going to be a harder job.  I can't tell you how giddy it makes me when I tell them "we're so busy that we'll have to bypass some chores today" and they are sad!  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

I still have to remind them to do their chores from time to time -- they're children after all! -- but WOW!  has this made it so much more manageable.

I'll have to post another update in six months or so, but thought I'd go ahead and share this with you now.  Hope it helps you as much as it has us!

Benghazi Brouhaha

I do not mean this to be snarky... I really wish someone would explain it to me:  Why are Republicans making such a big deal about what UN Ambassador Susan Rice said about Benghazi?  Okay, so she took faulty information into an interview.  It's not like she took faulty information and invaded a country looking for weapons of mass destruction.

(Okay, that last part is snarky, but the rest isn't.)

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I am a wretch.

Okay... here's the deal for a lazy Saturday afternoon....

I'm a wretch.  Don't get me wrong, I am no more self-deprecating and I'm probably a little more self-absorbed than you, but while I'm not Satan himself, I am far from perfect.  I smoke, drink and swear too much and I enjoy... um... affections with my husband, probably a little too much.  Heck, I enjoy thinking about my affections with Erich too much.  I've lied, been caught lying, been lied to and have gotten away with lying.  Jesus said that hating is the same thing as murder so that makes me a damn serial killer.  I'm a sloth--I'm a glutton.  I've hurt and I've been hurt. I've wounded and I've been wounded.  I've judged and I've been judged.

But, and this is the best part, I've forgiven and I've been forgiven.

Once, so long ago, a man told me and a bunch of other high schoolers that not only were we not perfect, but not being perfect was what God was counting on from me.  (See the link below.)  All I had to do was try.

And, I know from where your sitting, it may not look like I try, but wow, if you could see it from my end... I make so many mistakes and am constantly begging for forgiveness.  Oh!  God bless those of you who have forgiven me over the years!!!  Heck, over the last couple of months!  God bless you and God bless those of you who have said, as my friend Gale once said to me and I still treasure:  "...but I see your fruit."  {that means she looked extra hard and found something in me that was good.}

There just one thing though that I've never even tried to give up -- fighting against bullies.  There are so many people -- and sadly, Christians, who are just bullies.  They claim "radical discipleship" and "reverence" and "kindness" and then will stomp on the least in our society, treating some as if they aren't -- or never could be -- children of God.  Yes, when I hear about just plain meanness towards immigrants, towards homosexuals, towards anyone, I remember when we were kids and people acted that way towards single mothers, towards people of color and towards the homeless.

Yea, I get mad and disagreeable about a lot of other stupid, selfish things, too.  I already told you, I'm a wretch.  Some of you have thought -- some of you have hinted -- some of you have said it outright that the problems that Erich and I are going through are a result of me being a wretch.  And, you're absolutely right.  Let me say that again -- You're absolutely right.  God needed to teach me some things and it has been hard, the hardest thing in my life.  He has taught me what it is like to be on food stamps.  What it's like to be on unemployment.  What it's like to accept groceries from my friends.  What it's like to accept gifts from strangers.  And, what it's like to rejoice at the blessings that others have.

In this path though, I have been raw.  I am extremely fragile.  I saw this state in people before who had suffered loss -- the death of a child or other loved one, those who combat sickness, those who have endured being outcast by society.  I saw them and it confused me why they grew a protective "shell" around themselves.  They were civil and polite, but always a part of them withdrawn, set apart.

That's where I am.

As a result of this, I simply cannot have certain people around me.  I won't go into who or why, but yes, I've needed to "unfriend" and block some people on facebook.  I haven't made it a drama, I haven't created factions or strife.  My conscience is clear on this.  I did it quietly and without others even knowing it at the time.  And, hear this -- I have done this to dozens of people.  Not one person, not two or three, not even just a dozen, but dozens of people.

Read the title of this post again: I am a wretch. I am weak.  Granted.  Levy your accusations.  They are most likely all true.  But at this time in my life, I need friends who I trust and they trust me, who laugh with me and make me laugh, who I know will pray with me when I'm so down and will talk me off the ledge.

• Trusting - I do not trust people who expect me to agree with them on every issue and who will be "mortally wounded" if we have a disagreement.  The reason this is a trust issue is that if a person expects to affect everyone they meet into eventually agreeing with them, and, rather than sound argument or logic, the only way they see to make that happen is to resort to being offended, then who knows what other manipulations they may resort to?
• Laugh - It really is such a strong medicine.  I was telling my kids one day that every family is imperfect and every family has a dysfunction.  They asked what our dysfunction was and I immediately answered: "We laugh too much."  If you can't laugh at yourself because you take yourself that seriously and you expect me to as well, then God bless ya, have a nice life, but I am a very ill person who needs that medicine right now.
• Praying - "There are no atheists in foxholes."  Yea, I know there's a bunch of other quips that people have added on to this, but the essential truth is there.  I want you to pray for me and I want to pray for you.  No, it never replaces action, but it sure can create action.  
• Talking me off the ledge - Oh, I wish this was the hardest thing I'll ever go through.  Sadly, I know it probably isn't; that's just how life is.  Gladly, I know it probably isn't; God has so much to teach me yet to graduate me out of wretchdom.  If we can't be there for each other -- if you can't admit that you're life isn't perfect, that you fail, that you succeed and that you grow -- then why do you want to be my friend at all?  No one on this planet is so full of themselves (not even me) that I just want friends who I preach to.  Give me a break.  I am transparent.  I am who I am.  Sometimes, I screw up so bad that I get out there on the ledge. I want someone talking me down that I know I might need to repay the favor some day.  I don't have time for perfect people.

So there you go.  If I have unfriended you and it offended you, then I ask for your forgiveness.  Tell yourself that your life is just too perfect for me to deal with right now.  You'd probably be right.

I've already made this too long.  If you got this far, God bless you and I hope He gives you back that time somehow.  I did cover a lot in this post, and I feel like I still missed several important points.  If you read this, and your first inclination is to correct me in some way, please just ask yourself if you want to correct me for me or for you.  If it's for me, then I guess, do what you have to do with your red pen.  If it's for you, to show your knowledge, then I highly suggest you start your own blog and share with us your knowledge.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+Corinthians+12%3A9&version=MSG

Soy Milk

It bothers me that this is called "Soy Milk" when I wonder shouldn't it just be called "Soy Juice?"

Oh, well, it's good anyway.  And when my 16-year-old daughter decided to become vegan, our whole house switched to soy milk.  Thankfully, Publix and Walmart have started carrying a store brand and thankfully even the brand name soy milk have gone down in price a little because at the beginning, paying that much for "soy
juice" to me was positively ridiculous!

As good as those are getting in price, I found another good option:  Soy Dream on Amazon is 12 - 32 oz boxes for 32.47 for vanilla and 35.99 (as of Aug 2011).  With Amazon prime they're delivered to the house for free.  That's about 2.70 each. In our grocery, Soy Dream is 3.47 each (although Publix has refrigerated Silk on sale this week for 2 for 5.00).

Amazon's price on Tofu is really good as well.  It's in non-refrigerated packages, so you get 12 - 12 oz for about 22.00.  So, our vegan teens will be content for a little while  :-)

Magazine Holders

Magazine/Catalog Holder, Ring Binder, 3 Hole Punched, 11-5/8" x 1",12 Holders/Pk ROG02802

I used these to organize my knitting magazines.

Mattress from Amazon

Several people have asked me about our mattress on Amazon.

It is free shipping with Amazon Prime, which I also highly recommend.  It was funny when we got it because it came vacuum-sealed in a box that was about 15x15x40.  I was shocked when we took it out because it looked about an inch thick.  But, as soon as we cut the plastic, and the air quickly hissed in, the mattress plumped up to a full 12" thick with a pillow top.

We got it just to get us through until we could afford one from a store, but this IS a high-quality mattress and someday, if we ever do need another mattress, I will definitely look to get one like this again!

Textrade Queen Inner Spring Pillow Top Mattress in a Box

Watercolors...

A few years ago I decided to take up watercolors.  After about two dozen book purchases, I finally found "Watercolor for the First Time", by Kory Fluckiger.

I think true artists are able to come up with ideas out of nowhere, but some of us need a lot more help.  This book was very good for me; the author literally broke down painting a picture into micro-steps that even I could decipher.

I decided today that I would post some of my work that I did using this wonderful book.  Please note, these are replicas of the author's works (albeit meager replicas) that he used as projects in the book.